Synchronously
by sinkingsidewalks
Summary: Fitz's thoughts on Jemma - and the reverse - throughout 2x16 'Afterlife' Spoilers, obviously
1. Synchronically

Fitzsimmons is back to being Fitzsimmons and I couldn't be happier so I wrote this! I do not own these characters and this work is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own. Please let me know what you think xx

* * *

It feels like his heart stops the moment he realizes what she's doing is wrong. The rage that had flared upon the mention of her betrayal dissipates and is replaced by roaring fear. His stomach sinks not with hurt but with dread. Adrenaline races through his veins and each beat of his heart punctuates painfully through his body as his mind scrambles to think like hers again. She must have a plan, she always has a plan. He knows that he shouldn't be saying these things in front of Mack, in front of the enemy but he can't help his confused mutterings.

_Why the hell is she doing that?_

She's making a copy of the box and she's going to switch them out that much is obvious but what he can't figure out is her next step. The real box needs to be as far away from this 'new S.H.I.E.L.D.' as possible but Jemma can't change her tune and say she wants to leave so soon after helping them, that would make them more than suspicious. It's been so long since they've though in tandem that he almost thinks he's forgotten how, that the neural pathways between the two of them have deteriorated in the absence of their use.

But they were on the same wavelength earlier. Speaking out of two mouths and two minds as one unit. Except. Except he said he was leaving. Which is when her actions changed. She went from not giving Gonzales or Bobbi an inch to providing exactly what they need the most. So she's going to send him off with the box and await in the lions den alone to bear the consequences.

_Oh Jemma._

She talks as if he's the one who's changed the most when she is barely recognizable as the girl he left Sci-Ops with. However where his changes are more than obvious hers are unseen to an unfamiliar eye. To him though, on days like this, her every move is foreign. The old Jemma could not have lied to save her life but this one will plan the salvation of their team unassisted all while under the watchful gaze of the enemy.

Of course she would leave herself behind, that much of her hasn't changed, and with May locked away and Skye and Coulson on the run once she sends him off she'll be alone completely, alone with Gonzales, who can't be kind when he's angry and the traitors, Bobbi and Mack. His stomach rolls.

* * *

It's never been easy for him to hide his emotions, he's always worn his heart on his sleeve so to speak but everything he has to do today falls with a simplistic ease that he doesn't expect. Striding down to the lab filled with false apprehension and despise for Simmons when in truth he is awed.

She's always been beautiful in science who knew she'd be just as stunning in spycraft.

There's no struggle in their conversation either. Each group of words holding their own secret message he is confident only she in this room will understand and each of her quiet responses encourage him. His heart thrums under his skin with nerves and concern but there's also relief. Relief because she is back.

_Finally_ they are speaking the same language.

They play their parts seamlessly, trading anger and exasperation along with their hidden messages. But he sees the fear in her eyes when he picks up the box and there is a gun pointed at his chest, the fear that only pricks the back of his mind because he is so lost in the words spilling from his mouth. He trusts her. The fear dissipates after he's slammed the box back down onto the table and he assumes that means the gun is gone.

He holds her eyes fiercely through his final words, the ones that are most crucial she understand and almost sags with relief when he sees her acknowledgment.

She delivers her final performance brilliantly, and even though he knows she doesn't mean them at all the words still sting. They bring back the all the times through the last few months when their minds collided, quaking, and shot off course, missing by miles instead of merging, understanding and flowing together like they did even in the first days they met which they are only now returning to.

He strides away, knowing that her face will betray how upset she actually is and not wanting to see it. They've pulled this off thus far and he's leaving her here by herself which he still can't quite believe it.

* * *

Fear rushes through him as they stand awaiting his release from the base and only her fingers, barely brushing over the back of his arm as she helps him into his backpack seem to quell it. Then, after they're gone, it roars back to life after a silent moment, nausea settling heavy in his stomach and sweat slicking his palms.

It doesn't feel as if he can breath until he's out, actually out and stepping towards a cab waiting on the curb. Then the tension drains and he has the mind and safety to look. He knows that Jemma slipped the box inside his bag before settling it onto his back but he can't be sure until he's seen it. That nothing came up, stopping her short of replacing the real box with the fake then placing the real one in his bag.

He smiles once it's in his hands, relief pours over him along with a little disbelief. They actually pulled this off. His heart stutters a little when he sees her note, and his smile broadens. His favourite sandwich. The one that she always makes for him when he's struggling with something. The one that she hasn't made since they were locked in that damned med pod on the ocean floor. It's her thanks to him for doing this, for leaving and entering the unknown in a whole new way.

It tastes even better than he remembered.


	2. Diachronically

Second chapter is from Jemma's perspective, let me know which you like better. Thanks to Beguilingirl for encouraging this.  
Thanks to everyone for reading and letting me know what you thought! You can check me out on Tumblr at inktheater if you wish xx

* * *

She knows she shouldn't be happy at a time like this, that she shouldn't be feeling relieved let alone excited when everything is falling apart and their friends have betrayed them _again_. But Fitz is talking to her, he's _agreeing_ with her, and she didn't realize how much she missed how simple it used to be to just talk to him, to bounce ideas back and forth. So despite the horror of the situation she can't help the ease that settles over her.

She's been homesick for him. Missing the way their minds would flow connected like the way she yearns for the dampness of England, her mother's scent, and the curve of her father's smile. It's a slow ache deep inside her that barely grasps her attention until something else rips in, reminding.

And now they're back, or headed back at least and even though Fitz is leaving, her pride in him will offset the sadness of his absence. She knows it's good that he leaves because they are of no use here, she'll only stay to ensure that this 'new S.H.I.E.L.D.' knows that this is not their place. Fitz will find Coulson and help and she will stay, waiting when everyone returns home.

* * *

It doesn't even occur to her that they could achieve something this colluded until Bobbi is asking for her help. It doesn't hit her that they have all the cards, that no one here actually has any clue how to open the box other than herself and maybe Fitz, and should she choose to assist in the proper manner no one would question anything she does with it.

So she complies.

She tells Bobbi she's the one who can open it and formulates her plan as she walks down to the lab while Bobbi goes off to report the good news to Gonzales. That sickens her a bit but she ignores it.

The box cannot stay on base, that's simple enough, there's too big a chance of someone getting a clever idea and tripping one of its fail-safes, or getting lucky and actually opening it. But no one is about to let her just walk off with it.

Except Fitz is already leaving. If she could find a way to slip it into his bag he could take it to Coulson. She just needs to switch it out with a fake copy so nobody notices. In all the chaos happening that will be simple. She presses a smile off her lips at her accomplishment. She really shouldn't be this happy when everything's going to hell.

* * *

When Leo enters the lab angry it only takes her a second to understand what he's telling her.

_I know your plan, count me in._

As they trade messages, hidden in anger and distrust, she doesn't think anything has felt this good in months. Her mind meeting his and sparking in the center, both completely sure of the others words and meaning, and knowing without doubt what will come next. She's unaware of anything else in the room, the tension dissipates from her mind, Leo is the only thing in her field of focus.

Until she hears the hard metal of a gun slap against skin, then panic overtakes her. Fitz has the box in his hand and one of the agents is pointing his gun at him and her heart is in her throat. Her façade of indifference towards him is gone and she doesn't even think to worry about who will see she only needs him to _put it down_. She only breathes when he does.

They refocus their conversation and she pushes the residual fear to the back of her mind but she can't stop the rushed beating of her heart or the way it aches when he leaves even though she knows it's for the best.

* * *

She's making him a sandwich, a sandwich that she hasn't made in months because of him, as an excuse to get into his bag. That's what she's telling herself anyways. It's not that she's worried about his safety going out all alone into a world where there is no shortage of people who would love to kill a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

He's Fitz, he's the smartest person she knows, he's entirely capable of taking care of himself and it's not like anybody is looking for him specifically. All the odds factor him being completely okay.

But when she contemplates her note, and writes for him to stay safe because she can't say it, or anything, to his face right now. Right now when everything is getting better with them and she desperately wants to reassure them both but must stay silent because it could foil their plan. She means the words with every piece of her.

Because even though she was learning how to be Simmons without Fitz it wasn't anything close to what she wanted to be and she can't loose him. That much has always been obvious, especially now though, when betrayal seems to be around every corner and there are so few people left to trust. She needs the one person who will never betray her, whose trust she never needs to question. She needs her fallibly loyal best friend to stay safe.

Then, when she signs her name after love she means that even more.

* * *

She stands centered between Bobbi and Mack in front of Leo and the large square doors that empty into the outside world with tension filling every muscle fiber in her body. She slides the backpack onto Leo's back, with it the box and her sandwich, and touches the back of his arm just barely before stepping away.

The stress holds her perfectly still as he walks out the door, his lanyard relinquished and his duffle bag in his hand and she doesn't think breathing is physically possible until the door slams, shutting out the sunlight. He's actually gone, they actually pulled this off.

He's actually gone.

It feels like something inside her collapses.


End file.
